Learning To Love
by Moonluna
Summary: Snape ordered to look on Hogwarts Golden Boy at 4 Privet Drive during summer by Dumbledore. Reluctent, Snape goes to check up on the boy only to be shocked at what he finds his whole prospective of Potter changed. Warns:Slash,rape,abuse HPSS
1. Checking up on Hogwarts Golden Boy

Learning To Love 

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Chapter 1: Checking up on Hogwart's Golden Boy 

Er…lately I've been into Harry Potter fics. So any one who reads my other fics (SM/GW's ) I want to apologize for not updating in a while. I've been busy lately and I've got writers block on all most all of my stories. Any who.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

Warnings: Slash, Rape, Abuse, and other things…just not sure what else yet.

It might be kind of dark…..I was in a dark mood at the time I was writing this.

Paring: HP/SS

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Takes place after the 5th book….I got so engrossed in the book that I read it in 3 days and by the time I finished it I was crying…that book was so sad…anyway…

"I fear that something must be wrong with Mr. Potter. I need for you to go and check up on him."

"Albus, why don't you get Lupin or the Weasleys to check up on the boy? You know I can't stand the irrational brat."

"Severus. You know that Lupin is on a mission for the order and the Weasleys are off visiting relatives in Sweden. I trust you will check up on him, see how he's doing and if the boy's treatment isn't up to standard you will bring him back to Hogwarts." Albus Dumbledore said resting his chin on top of his clasped hands, blue eyes twinkling over his half moon glasses. The Headmaster looked at the younger man in front of him, whom he considered as a son, pouting over the orders he was just giving.

"Why not go yourself then. You go check up on the brat while I finish some potions that Pomfrey wanted me to brew for her." Severus Snape said desperately trying to get out of this situation.

"I have to go to the Ministry."

"But…"

"You're going Severus and that's final. I want you to dress in Muggle clothes so you wont seem suspicious, and go over to Number Four Privet Drive and check up on Harry." Albus said somewhat forcefully, trying to get it in Severus's head that he had to go and check up on the boy.

"Fine." The Potions Master said somewhat sulkily. He slowly rose from his seat in the Headmaster's office and walked out the door then walked swiftly to his rooms. Albus sighed softly watching the Potions Professor leave his office. Hoping that nothing terrible had or is happening the Harry Potter in his summer residence.

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Severus grumbled as he walked towards Number Four Privet Drive from where he appariated a block away. He wished he was back at Hogwarts in his dungeons creating and brewing potions in his comfortable black robes instead of checking up on Potter wearing these uncomfortable Muggle jeans and shirt.

'Stupid brat's probably fine. Probably being worshipped like a god. Stupid Dumbledore for making me check up on his Golden boy. Crazy old coot.' He shook his head to clear his thoughts as he walked up the stairs of house Number Four. He glanced at the house and yard. 'It's sickening how all the houses look the same. Bet Potter has a perfect life living here, he's probably fine, meaning I came here for nothing. What a waste of my time. The only thing the brat probably suffers from is boredom.' He sneered at the door then raised a fisted hand to knock on the door.

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Harry whimpered as foot connected with his ribs. He glanced up at his uncle hoping he'd get bored soon and leave him alone. His hopes were knocked down when his uncle grabbed his hair dragging him to his knees. Vernon looked down at the boy an evil glint in his eyes as he made the boy look up at him.

"Filthy Freak! You're getting what you deserve! You're freak friends threatening me; did you think that that would go unpunished?!" He yelled, throwing the boy to the ground. He squatted next to the boy, ripping Harry's baggy clothes off his thin body. Harry's eyes widened as he watched his uncle undo his pants. Te tries to push the older man off him when Vernon tried to pry Harry's legs open, which earned him a slap across the face.

"Now, now," Vernon cooed after prying Harry's legs open. "Be a good whore and lie still." He reached into his boxers, pulling out his immense purple cock. Harry's emerald green eyes filled with tears, unable to fight against his uncle. Lack of food and sleep draining his energy rapidly. His eyes closed tight as he felt the tip of the leaking cock probing his entrance. He let out a scream as he was penetrated. His uncle slapped him across the face again, smirking as he thrusted into the meager body under him.

"Such a pretty whore. I bet everybody loves getting a good fuck from you. Bet you beat yourself off in the showers or in bed thinking about guys. Don't you, you little fag?" He moaned. Vernon grabbed the boy's slightly limp penis into his hand, squeezing it and pumping it. He moaned again as he came inside the boy, his eyes closing as his seed filled the around ass below him. Vernon pulled his cock out, gazing down at the blood and sweat soaked body below him. Harry felt his lungs gasping for air as his uncle's obese body crushed his. Vernon was starting to push his already hard cock back into the boy when he heard a knock on the front door. He swore aloud, quickly putting his pants back on. After lifting his body off of Harry, Harry let out a moan of pain and quickly started filling his lungs with air. Before his uncle left his room he gave another kick to his ribs. Harry gave out a sharp cry, feeling another rib crack. He curled up into a ball in the middle of his floor, sobbing after his uncle slammed his door shut, locking it with several locks behind him, and stormed down the stairs.

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Severus eyed the obese man who opened the door with disgust.

"We don't want whatever you're selling." Vernon said to Severus, attempting to close the front door. Severus frowned and placed his foot in the door's way to prevent it from being slammed in his face.

"I'm here to see Mr. Potter." Severus said sneering at the man. Vernon Dursley paled considerably. Snape narrowed his eyes then forced himself inside the house. Dursley shut the door and turned towards Severus.

"Who are you and why are you here?" Vernon demanded. They heard creaks on the stairs. Both men turned towards the stairs where a horse faces woman and a whale of a boy stood at the top in their pajamas looking at them with curiosity.

'Must be Potter's aunt, Lily's sister Petunia, and Potter's obese cousin Dudley. Merlin what do they feed that kid?' Severus thought.

"I am Severus Snape, a Professor from Mr. Potter's school. I was sent here by Headmaster Dumbledore to check up on Mr. Potter," the Dursleys paled, "Now I have to ask you to show me where Potter's room is." Snape narrowed his eyes as the Dursleys paled and started getting suspicious when Potter's Aunt and Uncle started panicking.

"Dudley, go back to bed." Vernon said to his son.

"But.." Dudley tried to argue.

"GO!" Vernon shouted, his face becoming red. Dudley pouted and glared at his father then turned around to his room, slamming the door behind him after he entered. Vernon turned towards Snape. "The boy is fine! Now I demand that you get out of my house!" his face turning purple from yelling.

"I'm not leaving until I see Potter with my own eyes," Dursley moved in front of Snape, blocking the way to the stairs. "Now get out of my was." The Potions Master frowned even more when the fat oaf refused to move. Snape pulled out his wand and pointed it at Vernon's face. The man's eyes widened in fear but still refused to budge. "I am a fully trained wizard and unlike Mr. Potter I can use magic." Severus informed him. Vernon's eyes widened more and quickly moved to the side. Severus sneered and walked up the stairs. When he reached the top he sneered at Potter's Aunt, who backed up to the wall in fear. Snape continued walking until he came to a door with ten different locks on it. "Alohomora." Snape whispered, unlocking all the locks.

He opened the door and walked into the room. It was pitch black inside and the room had a familiar smell to it, but he couldn't for the life of him place it. He muttered a lighting spell. His eyes widened as the room was bathed in light. He let out a small cry of shock. Lieing in the middle of the room was Harry Potter, the-boy-who-lived, laying in a pool of his own blood, naked and unconscious. After seeing Potter bloody and naked, he remembered what the familiar smell was.

'It's the smell of stale sex! They beaten and raped him!' Severus thought, realizing how bad the situation was and that he had to get Potter out of there as soon as possible and get him to Madame Pomfrey back at Hogwarts to heal him.

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I hope you like the story. Sorry if any of the characters seem OOC. I hope that the rape part wasn't too graphic or anything…I not very good at writing those kind of things…this was the first time to write a part like that. I'm working on the second chapter right now and got four pages written on paper so far. Anyways please Review and try to be nice…this is my first Harry Potter fic I've written but say what you think of the story.

Thank, Moonluna


	2. A Heavy Heart

Learning to Love 

**Chapter 2: A Heavy Heart**

This chapter is a little longer than the last…but not by much. I want to thank all of those who reviewed:

-charlie-potter1

-Isabel )

-Lucky5

-Lynn

-serena23

-Amy the Battousai

-silentauror

-shadowfox12 :don't worry Harry will be all right…eventually

-Vivalacious

-Miki23

-opal

-Meghan2 :No you haven't offended me, I don't mind getting advice or suggestions, it will help me with future chapters.

-S-chan : Sev/Harry is my favorite couple too.

-l33t :don't worry the Dursleys will be tortured soon…not in this chapter bit maybe in the next chapter.

-Emerald Riddle

I'm working on the third chapter but school started so it will be harder to get my stories updated. Thanks for all those who reviewed. Hope you like this chapter.

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"Potter." Severus called silently, slowly inching towards the boy cautiously. Once he got closer to the boy he squatted down next to him. "Potter." He tried to place a hand on Harry's shoulder but the boy whimpered and curled up farther into a ball to get away from the offending hand. "Potter…Harry. Harry, it's Professor Snape. I've got to get you to Hogwarts. Harry, can you hear me?" Snape asked using a softer voice than his normally snarky attitude to get the boy's attention with out scarring him. The boy started opening his eyes, which was a hard task because both eyes were almost swollen shut and were a dark purple color.

"P…Pro…Professor?" Harry stuttered raising his head slightly to get a better look at the older man.

"Yes Harry." Severus said gazing at the boy in front of him.

"W…What are you doing here?" the boy's voice was so soft that Severus could barely hear him.

"Dumbledore sent me to check up on you. I'm going to get you out of here and take you back to Hogwarts with me." Severus said softly. He took a cloak out of his pocket, enlargening it, and placed it around the boy's body. He looked around the room, finding the boy's trunk in the corner and some schoolbooks lying on the small desk. He stood up and waked over to the boy's trunk and opened it. He grabbed the books off the desk and placed them into the trunk. He looked around the room to see if there was anything else. He spotted an empty cage sitting in the corner.

"Where's your owl?" Severus asked turning to look at Harry.

"She's at the Burrow with Ron. I asked him to look after her." Harry replied, pulling his Professor's cloak tighter to his body, shivering.

"Ok. Is there anything else you want to take with you?" Severus asked shrinking the cage.

"There are some things under the loose floor board under the bed." Harry replied. Severus walked over to the bed and lifted up the loose board. He took out it's contents-a peace of parchment- he remembered seeing in Harry's third year-, his wand, a photo album, and –Snape silently snorted-his invisibility cloak. He placed the things in the boy's trunk.

"Anything else?"

"No." Snape close the trunk and shrunk it placing it, along with the shrunken cage into one of his pockets.

"I'm going to pick you up and apparate us to Hogwarts." Severus said turning towards him.

"Ok." Harry said quietly. Severus walked over to him, gently placing a hand on his shoulder. Harry flinched and tried to back away.

"It's ok Harry. I wont hurt you." Severus said reassuringly. Harry let out a sigh and nodded his head quietly saying it was ok. Snape placed an arm under Harry's shoulders and the other arm behind his knees. Severus gently lifted the boy up and brought him closer to his chest. Harry shivered as his body came into contact with his professor's. When Snape brought his closer to his chest he grabbed a fist full of the Professor's black shirt to reassure himself that Snape was really there and not to make fun of him or make snide remarks about him and his father, but to help him. To save him from this hellhole.

'Is this what Snape is really like? Kind and caring. Is this soft-spoken man the real Snape and the cold-hearted bastard that's the greasy git of a Potions Professor at Hogwarts a cover, a shell of what he really is? He's always trying to protect me, I just never realize it.' Harry thought, thinking back to all the times Snape saved him.

'I could never get past the cruelty that he has shown me since day one. He's really the only person who didn't treat me like the-boy-who-lived, but as a real person. He's the only one who doesn't treat me like the bloody savior of the world. He's the only one who doesn't kiss the ground I walk on…well at least anyone on the side of good. Man…I never thought I would see Snape wearing Muggle clothing…he actually looks good in Muggle clothes.' Harry thought, thinking back to when he got a good look at Snape in his tight black jeans and long black-sleeved shirt that hugged his upper body while the older man was packing his trunk. 'Er…what am I thinking. Where in the hell did that thought some from. Can't think right now. I don't have enough energy.' Harry looked up at Hogwart's most feared Professor, who was looking down at him with concern in his onyx eyes.

"Thank you." Harry said quietly with a small smile on his face before he passed out.

Severus looked down at the small beaten and bloody body in his arms. His eyes widened when the boy looked up at him with understanding, sorrow filled eyes. Severus was shocked when he heard the boy's quiet "thank you" and was even more shocked when Potter smiled at him.

Severus panicked a bit when he saw the boy pass out. The arm supporting the boy's back grabbed Potter's wrist and checked for a pulse. He let out a sigh of relief when he found it.

'Thank Merlin he still has a pulse…a weak one, but still a pulse. I don't know what Dumbledore would do if I brought Potter back dead.' He mentally snorted at the thought but then realized that he was getting off track. 'I have to bring him back to Hogwarts and fast.' He quickly exited the dreary room covered in blood and made his way back to the stairs. He hurried down the stairs as fast as he could without tripping. Once he reached the bottom he started at Vernon and Petunia Dursley, as they stood off to the side with wide eyes and pale skin, with hatred.

"I'm not finished with you yet Dursley's. I'll be back to take care of you later." Severus threatened, sneering at them before turning towards the front door and walking swiftly out of the house. As he walked down the sidewalk he tightened his grip on the boy and made sure that the cloak was tightly secure around Potter's body, so that the summer's cool night air didn't chill him.

As he hurried to a place where he could apparate, about two blocks away, his mind kept going to the sight he saw when he entered the boy's room. Harry Potter, the-boy-who-lived, the world's bloody savior, lying broken and used inside the house of his own relatives. The same relatives the boy goes to every summer vacation for protection, because of his mother's love that saved him and the threat of Voldemort trying to kill him. As soon as Severus got far enough to apparate he closed his eyes and pulled Harry closer to his chest. When he opened his eyes he saw the gates of Hogwarts in front of him. He walked as fast as he could to the school. When Severus reached the main doors he threw them open and jogged towards the infirmary.

"Pomfrey!" The Potions Professor yelled when he entered the infirmary.

"What is it Severus?" asked the nurse walking over to the younger man. "Oh me!" she exclaimed when she saw the teen in Severus's arms. She gasped when she saw the lighting bolt scar on his fore head. "Is that Potter? What happen to him?"

"Yes it's Potter." Severus confirmed, laying Harry on one of the beds. "He was beaten by his uncle and I'm pretty sure he was also raped."

"Raped!? Oh dear the poor boy." Poppy said looking at Severus with wide eyes.

"You take care of the boy. I must go speak to Dumbledore and tell him what has happened." Severus said before rushing out the infirmary's doors and waking towards the Headmaster's office. He sneered at the statue that guarded the Headmaster's office.

"Snickers." Severus spat, watching the statue move to reveal stairs. When Severus got up to the top, he knocked on the wooden door, prying it open before Albus had the chance to invite him in. He stalked over to Albus's desk stopping in front of it; ignoring Dumbledore's gesture to sit down.

"How's Harry? Were the Dursley's treating him alright?" Dumbledore asked growing nervous. It was only three weeks into summer vacation and he had gotten a discouraging sense that there was something wrong with the boy was heightened when he received owls from Harry's best friends Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger and also from Remus Lupin, saying that Harry hadn't written the every three day letter to the Order and that all the letters that he had written sounded off. When he finished reading the letters he had Severus go check on the boy. When Severus returned from his "mission" with a frown and gall expression on his face Albus's uneasiness grew. He waited patiently, yet still sitting on the edge of his seat, for Severus to answer.

"Potter is in the infirmary." The younger man finally said.

"What happened? Is he injured?" Albus asked, slightly panicking.

"Come and see for yourself." Severus said turning towards the door. Albus nodded, stood up and followed the Potions Professor to the infirmary, fidgeting slightly, hoping that the boy wasn't badly injured.

Albus's hopes were quickly dashed when he walked into the infirmary behind Severus and saw Harry laying on one of the beds. His body was littered with bruises and cuts. Dumbledore looked at Pomfrey who was washing the blood from the wounds off the boy's battered body with a wet washcloth, then turned his gaze to Severus who was standing silently beside him. Pomfrey looked up at Albus then turned to Severus with tears running down her face.

"You were right Severus." Poppy said tearfully.

"What's happened to him?" Albus asked tears filling his blue eyes.

"He was beaten and malnourished. He has five broken ribs, his left ankle is sprained, his right leg is broken, and his right wrist is broken and will take a little longer to heal because of slight nerve damaged. His left arm is shattered-- probably from a blunt, heavy object. Several stabs wounds and cuts scattered over his body. There is the word _FREAK _carved onto his back." She looked at Dumbledore who met her gaze. "He was raped repeatedly by his own relatives." She broke down sobbing. Albus's usually bright, twinkling blue eyes became dull and the tears that had started to build up ran unchecked down his face. He sat down in a chair next to the bed and grabbed Harry's hand in one of his hands and brushed back the boy's bangs with his other.

"I shouldn't have made him go back. He said he didn't want to go back there. All those years ago, before we dropped Harry off at the Dursley's, Minerva warned me that they were the worse kind of Muggles, but I didn't listen, because they were his last living relatives. When I left Harry there I knew he would be safe from Voldemort and his followers because of Lily's blood sacrifice for her son, but I never thought he wouldn't be safe from his own family.

"This young man has been through so much, more than most ever see though their entire life, more than anyone would wish for their worst enemies." Dumbledore stood up, tears still flowing down his face. "I promise you Harry, that I will make this all up to you one day. I am so sorry, my boy." Albus brushed back Harry's hair again, revealing the lightning bolt scar that played a huge impact in Harry's life, and then turned around walking towards the infirmary doors. He turned around looking back at the boy then walked out the door with his head down and a heavy heart.

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I hope you like it. Please review and tell me what you think so far. I am going to have to apologize a head of time. I wont be able to update as much as you-the readers- or I would like to but school started and I get home work everyday in most of my classes –plus I will have to write speeches for speech class…I have to write one already for next week…..I really really hate that class- and on weekends I will usually be busy (on my dad's weekend I don't have a way to get to the internet and on my mom's weekend my mom, step-dad, and myself spend the weekends looking for a house). I will try my hardest to get more chapters out as soon as I can but it will take a while. I am so sorry.

Thanks,

Mooonluna


	3. Ceasefire

Learning to Love 

**Chapter 3: Ceasefire **

I'm sorry that it took a while for me to update. My computer crashed yet again and I had to have my uncle fix it for me. Which he did Yay! free of charge double Yay! I have been really busy with school. Lots of papers and essays to write, lots of tests, projects, and lots of homework. -- Goddess I hate school. Anyway, this chapter isn't as…graphic and disturbing as the last two chapters, but don't worry I'm sure there will be chapters coming up will be. PS.- Severus is a bit OOC...

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Severus observed Albus's reaction to seeing the boy silently. His slightly widening as he listened to Albus avow that the boy didn't want to go back to that house but he forced Potter to go back. There was slight twinge in his heart as he listened to the older man comfort and apologize to the younger man laying helplessly on the hospital bed unconscious. Severus watched as the Headmaster walked out of the infirmary, tears streaming down his face and his head down.

'Never in all the years I have known that man has he ever to look so worn out, so old.' He looked from the now closed infirmary doors to Poppy who was still sitting next to the boy. Poppy looked up at him, tears sill flowing freely from her eyes.

"Severus. Could you help me heal him?" She asked her voice tired and slightly breaking from crying. He nodded and followed Pomfrey's instructions to help heal the boy. While Poppy used he want to heal some of Potter's injuries, Severus forcing potions for healing and pain down the unconscious boy's throat.

After healing Harry the best they could, few injuries would have to heal the muggle way, Poppy had the Potions Professor put some pajamas on the boy. Severus's eyes looked at the pale body, tracing all the scars that were scattered across the sickly skin, as he placed the pajamas on the boy. He looked at his cloak that Poppy had taken off the boy to check and heal his injuries. The school nurse had cleaned the cloak and placed it at the end of Potter's bed so he wouldn't forget it. He took the blankets and pulled them up to cover the boy.

After "tucking" the boy in he took a glance at Harry's recumbent body on the bed, then turned and walked out of the infirmary. He started his trek down into the dark and dreary dungeons that he considers his home. All the while thinking back to earlier. Once he entered his chambers he walked over to the liquor cabinet and grabbed a bottle of Fire Whiskey and a glass, then went over to a high backed chair in front of the fireplace. He sat down in the chair, poured the Fire Whiskey into the glass and watched the fire burning.

'How can some one do that to a child?' He thought angrily in his head. His mind kept going back to what happened earlier. The image of Harry lying naked in a pool of his own blood. Pomfrey's confirmation that the boy was raped is what shocked him the most.

'I wonder that Albus will do. What will happen next? Harry can't go back to the Dursleys, so where will he end up staying?' His hand tightened around the glass when he thought of the Dursleys. 'I wonder what Albus will do to them. Whatever happens I hope it's painful. They deserve it for what they have done to Harry.'

A sudden thought came to his mind that made his eyes widen and his teeth clench in anger. 'How long has this abuse has been going on?' His mind wandered to what the other Order members would say and act when they found out.

'The person you'd really have to look out for it the Wolf. The Wolf in Lupin sees Harry as a son to him, a cub in his pack. Sure the Weasleys will flip and protect him since he's like another son to them but Lupin will want to kill the Dursleys.' He smirked at the thought of Lupin getting his hand on the Dursleys.

'I really do hope that Albus will let us do what we please to the Dursleys.' Severus smirked, thinking of all the ways he could torture or kill the monsters that hurt Harry. He downed the rest of the Fire Whiskey in his glass. His mind wandered to how Albus reacted when he saw Harry in the infirmary. He had never seen the older man so…heart broken. Severus poured himself another glass of Fire Whiskey. After several glasses, Severus felt his mind haze and his eyes start to blur.

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Severus groaned when he came to in the morning. He slowly opened his eyes, blinking them to clear his vision. He groaned and placed a hand over his eyes.

'Damn I have a bloody hangover.' The events from yesterday flashed through his mind. 'Harry' He thought opening his eyes. He got out of the chair and walked over to one of the cabinets. Severus opened the cabinet, pulled out a hangover cure, uncorked it and downed the potion in one gulp.

Once his hangover and pounding headache were gone he stormed out of his chambers. As he swiftly walked through the castle on his way to the infirmary he muttered a cleaning spell on himself. When he reached the infirmary doors he stood there for a second, took a deep breath then pushed open the doors and walked though. As he entered his eyes glanced around the room searching. He let out an inaudible sigh when his eyes fell on what he had been searching for.

'Harry.' Severus slowly walked over to the infirmary bed where the young boy was laying on. 'Young man.' Severus mentally told himself. 'There is no way that he can be called a boy after all that he has been through.' He thought to himself. Madam Pomfrey looked up at him from her spot next to Harry's bed.

"Hello Severus." Pomfrey greeted. Her voice full of emotion and sleep.

"Hello Poppy. How is he doing?" Severus asked moving next to her.

"Still asleep. Some of his wounds are still healing. Physically he will be okay, the only thing that might be a slight bother for him for a little while is his right wrist. Mentally and emotionally it will take him longer." Poppy said looking down at Harry. Severus looked down at the still body lying on the bed. The blankets were pulled up to his shoulders trapping heat in to keep Harry warm. The younger man's eyes were closed tight as if trying to will away the demons from inside his mind. His lips were drawn into a frown, showing displeasure in whatever was going on behind closed eyes.

"Has Albus come back to see him yet?" Severus asked, eyes still locked on the pale figure laying there.

"No he hasn't. I haven't seen nor heard from Albus since last night." Poppy replied. She stood up from the chair she was sitting in and turned to Severus. "Severus, do you think you could stay here and watch Harry while I go take care of something? I don't want him to be alone if he should wake up." Severus nodded and watched Poppy walk out of the room.

Severus sat down in the chair that Poppy recently vacated. He sighed and leaned back into the chair and sat there, his eyes trained on Harry, filled with concern.

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His whole body felt numb and yet he was still in pain. He felt consciousness slowly overcoming the vast darkness and his memories of what happened jumping out in his mind. Trying to escape the nightmares he tried to open his eyes. When he was finally able to open his eyes he was hit by a bright light. He blinked his eyes so they could get use to the light. He looked to the right and saw a blurred figure next to the bed. He started to panic, not knowing where he was.

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Severus's eyes widened a bit when he saw the young man open his eyes. He became worried when he saw Harry starting to panic. He grabbed Harry's glasses when he realized that he was panicking because he couldn't see. Severus handed the glasses to Harry, who quickly grabbed them out of his hand and put them on his face.

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Harry saw the dark blurred figure hand him something.

'My glasses.' Harry thought when he grabbed the object out of the figure's hand. He quickly placed his glasses on and looked at the figure to see who is was. 'Snape!' Severus sat there looking at Harry who looked back at him in shock.

"How are you feeling Harry?" Severus asked, his voice a little less harsh than normally. Harry's eyes widened even more at Severus's odd behavior.

'Did he just call me Harry?' Harry wondered.

"Hurts.." Harry croaked out. Severus grabbed a glass of water and gave it to Harry. Harry looked up at him, squinting his eyes.

"It is only water. Poppy left it here incase you woke up." Severus said, reinsuring Harry that he wasn't going to harm him.

"Thanks." Harry whispered taking a drink of the water. Severus nodded is head. "Where are we?"

"We are at Hogwarts, in the infirmary." Severus informed him. "Do you remember what happened last night?" Harry's eyes became unfocused.

"Yes." The younger troubled man whispered.

"You don't have to worry about it Harry. You never have to go back there again. I will make sure of that." Harry looked up in surprise.

"Why? Why are you being so nice to me? You hate me." Harry asked, bitterness in his voice.

"I had believed that you would be and were just like your father. I thought you grew up getting whatever you wanted and treated like royalty. When you came to Hogwarts I wanted to put you in your place. To take you off the pedestal that everyone else put you on. I hated your father for what he had done to me when I was in school. I took that hatred that I had for him out on you because you are his son, it didn't help that you look so much like him. I shouldn't have been so hard on you. I shouldn't have taken my anger out on you. I am sorry." Severus said staring at his hands so he wouldn't have to look Harry in the eyes.

"It's okay Professor. I should also apologize for what happened last year. I am sorry for looking in your pensive. It was wrong of me. I also want to apologize for what my father done. I apologize for not trusting you all these years." Harry said also looking down at his hands.

"It's okay Harry. You have nothing to apologize for. Can we call a truce?" Severus asked holding out his hand. Harry stared at him slightly shocked then smiled lightly. Harry took Severus's hand in his.

"Truce." Harry said shaking Severus's hand. Severus smirked.

"I better go and get Pomfrey before she realizes that I didn't come and get her when you first woke up or she might have my head." Severus got up out of the chair and started walking in the direction he saw Poppy disappear to. Harry watched the older man walk away, both shocked and amazed at what had taken place just moments ago but had a small smile on his face, the first smile he really smiled in what felt like years.

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Hope you liked this chapter. I'll try to get the next chapter out as soon as I can. Please review.

Thanks, Moonluna


	4. Sleep

Learning to Love

Chapter 4: Sleep

Sorry I took forever to update, I've had the biggest writer's block on all of my stories. Thanks for all who reviewed.

Disclaimer: Don't own.

* * *

'I wonder if this new Snape is here for good or maybe he was hexed by somebody, like Dumbledore, with some kind of cheerful charm or something.' Harry thought watching his Potion Professor walk out of the room. He than realized that he was smiling, the first time he smiled for real since before his godfather's death. 'What's wrong with me? I shouldn't be smiling, especially after talking to Snape.' He thought scowling at himself.

'It's Snape. This is the first time he hasn't been cursing my name. I've always hated it when he screamed my name in hate, though I bet I wouldn't hate it if he screamed my name in pleasure.' His mind staggered and started blushing. 'Where the hell did that thought come from?' Harry's blush deepened when Snape walked back into the room with Poppy swooping in behind him.

"Oh dear. Why is your face so red? Are you running a fever?" Poppy asked walking over to the bed Harry was laying in. She placed a hand on the young man's forehead. He blushed in embarrassment. "Hmm. No fever. So how are you feeling Dear?" Harry blanched. His eyes dulled and he lowered his head, looking down at his hands. Memories of what had happened were pushed to the front of his mind. Each miserable day flipping through his mind like a slide show going at a fast pace. Over and over again the memories flipped though.

* * *

Severus got up from the chair and walked out the door he saw Poppy disappear into earlier. He walked over to the desk in the room where Pomfrey was sitting writing on some parchment. She looked up when she heard him approach her desk.

"He's awake." Severus said to the school nurse. Poppy quickly stood up from her seat. He walked back into the infirmary, Poppy following behind him. She swooped over to Harry's bedside.

Severus watched as the young man's face, red from embarrassment, turn into a look of horror and shame. Poppy's eyes looked up from the boy to Severus's eyes. Concern shone in her eyes.

"Are you ok Harry?" Poppy asked sitting down in the chair Severus was sitting in earlier. Harry nodded. "Is there anything you want to talk about?" He shook his head. "Want to tell us what happened?" His eyes widened and shook his head even more.

* * *

'No. I don't want them to know what happened.' Harry thought to himself. His eyes moved from Poppy to the Headmaster who had just entered the room.

"How are you doing Harry?" Dumbledore asked, sitting down in the chair next to his bed.

"Ok sir." Harry whispered, lowering his head.

"I want you to know my dear boy that you'll never have to go back to that house ever again." Dumbledore started, "With that said, you'll have to stay somewhere else. Hogwarts is out of the question. The only people here are Poppy, Severus and myself. Poppy is leaving in a week to visit family, I have to deal with the Ministry, and Severus is going home in a couple days for the summer." He said thoughtfully.

"He can stay with me." Severus volunteered. Poppy and Harry looked at him with wide eyes.

"Perfect. Thank you my boy." Albus said, eyes twinkling. "Is that okay with you Harry?" He asked turning towards Harry.

"That's fine." Harry stuttered.

"Good. Well, rest up." Dumbledore said smiling down at Harry. He nodded at Severus and Poppy, and then exited the infirmary. Poppy went to work on checking Harry's condition.

"How are you feeling Harry?" Poppy questioned the young man.

"Fine." He replied, his voice quiet and tense.

"Feeling any pain?"

"A little." He answered. Poppy looked at him questioningly, waiting for him to tell where. "My right wrist mostly."

"Ah yes. Unfortunatelyyour right wrist has sustained some nerve damage, which will take a little longer than your other wounds to heal. Here take his Pain Reliever potion, it'll help with the pain." Poppy explained. She handed him the potion, which he chugged down with a look of disgust on his face. "Take this dreamless sleep, it will help you sleep and will help you to heal faster with rest." Poppy handing him a bottle of Dreamless Sleep, which he also chugged down. "I'm going to go take care of something. I'll chick up on you in a little while." Poppy said then left the room, heading back to her office. Severus looked down at his student with tired eyes.

"Get some sleep Harry. We'll leave for my home in a week." Snape said standing up from the chair. He nodded at Harry, who in return gave a small sleepy smile, then walked out of the infirmary, his robed bellowing behind him.

Harry watched him walk out of the infirmary with the small smile still on his face. He quickly found his eyelids growing heavier and then he gave in to a dreamless sleep.

* * *

Severus watched in surprise as Harry gave him a small smile. Getting over the slight shock from the smile, he walked out of the infirmary and down into the dungeons to his chambers. When he reached the painting of Salazar Slytherin he paused, and said the password. Then painting swung open and Severus walked in to his chambers. He ignored the erg to sit in front of the fire and down fire whiskey and continued to his bedroom. He entered the semi dark room and let out a small sigh. He quickly shed himself of his clothing and headed into the connecting bathroom.

Deciding a hot bath would be relaxing; he filled the tub up with water. He stepped into the tub and slowly lowered himself into the water till he was fully seated on the bottom of the tub. He sunk into the relaxing heated water, which was helping him relieve his taunt muscles on his stressed body. He leaned his head back till it rested against the rim of the tub and let his dark eyes slip shut.

After a couple minutes of just enjoying, he opened his eyes and grabbed a bar of soap off of the ledge, lathering it in his hands. He set the soap down and rubbed the lathered soaped hands on his pale but muscled arms then proceeded to his chest, which was littered with small and large scars. His hands ran down his abs to his strong thighs.

He picked up the soap again, lathered it, and then ran his hands down his long legs. When he finished washing his body he grabbed his shampoo, squeezing a fair amount out on a palm then lathered it in his hair. He dunked his head under the water, rinsing the shampoo out then stood up from the now cold water, draining the tub of the water. He grabbed a towel as he stepped out, wrapping it around his waist.

Severus went back into his room, drying his body off with the towel. He dropped the now damp towel in the hamper as he walked over to one of his dressers where he pulled out a pair of drawstring pants. He slipped on the pants then brushed his hair. He climbed into bed and slowly fell asleep, a pair of green eyes haunting his dreams.

* * *

Hope you like it. I'll try to get to the next chapter out soon. Please review.

Moonluna


	5. Hiding

**Learning To Love**

**Chapter 5: Hiding**

Hey peeps. Sorry I haven't updated in a while. Been busy with work and what not. You know it's sad when the only clean clothes you have are work clothes and the only clothes you wash are what you wear to work. Anyhow, hope you enjoy.

* * *

A fist came flying, a sharp kick to the ribs. Horrendous pain. Harsh words, evil laughter. Eyes fixed on the sickening look of pleasure on the large body of his uncle, then his world faded black. 

The Dark Lord killing his father, the screams of his mother as she was killed trying to protect him, the death of Cedric, the death of his Godfather, the face of Voldemort with his haunting red snake like eyes, the treatment from his so called family. The screams, the blood, the death.

It was entirely his fault. The pain, the suffering…he deserved it. It was his fault his parents were killed. It was his fault Cedric and Sirius were killed. His fault.

**HPHPHPHP**

Harry woke in a cold sweat, his eyes sweeping the room forgetting where he was momentarily.

'Hogwarts Infirmary.' Harry thought. He looked towards the windows trying to estimate the time. 'Around five o'clock in the morning.' Harry shivered, sitting up and wrapping his arms around his legs, trying to keep no only the cold away from his body but his soul as well.

**SSSSSSSS**

Severus woke the next morning with sunlight seeping in through the drapes in his rooms.

'Damn Albus for putting a magical window in my rooms.' Severus thought grumpily.

He slid out of bed and walked into the bathroom. He made his way over to the toilet to relieve himself, then slid out of his sleeping pants, started up a bath, and quickly washed up. He sat relaxing fro a while before deciding it was time to get out and get ready for the day.

He grabbed a towel and dried off his lean, lanky body, then dropped the towel on the floor and left the bathroom to get ready for the day. He quietly put on his boxers, followed by his pants and shirt then his usual black robes.

He exited his bedroom and went into the kitchen. He sat down and called for a house elf to bring him breakfast. He ate his meal then left his room to check on Hogwarts current patient.

**HPHPHPHP**

'If only.' He thought. 'If only the "Dark Lord" didn't decide to mark me as his equal. If only Sirius stayed the secret keeper. If only Peter hadn't betrayed his parents. If only my parents were alive. If only I wasn't left with his so called "family".

If only I hadn't convinced Cedric to take the Trophy with him in his fourth year. If only I would of learned Occlumency. If I would have thought before running off and getting his Godfather killed. If only…I had never been born.

**SSSSSSSS**

Severus entered the hospital wind to find Harry sitting up in bed. He was sitting against the headboard with his legs folded to his chest and arms around his knew as if to protect and hide himself from the world.

"Harry? Are you okay?" Severus asked, his voice soft as he cautiously walked towards the young distraught man.

**HPHPHPHP**

Harry's head snapped up when he heard his Potions Professor's voice.

"Harry? Are you okay?" He watched as Severus slowly approached him. He nodded.

"Yeah. Just a bad dream." Harry replied, hoping his professor believed him.

"Okay. Harry…" Severus paused trying to think of the right words he wanted to say. "I want you to know if you ever…need to talk to anyone…you can always come to me. I know we haven't been civilized towards each other for very long but I …feel…that we have several…similarities. I know what it feels like to be unloved and a bused by somebody who is family."

"How? How do you know?" Harry asked suddenly, slightly angry at the pity and sympathy in the older man's voice.

"My father wanted a perfect son. One that would obey very order and follow in his footsteps. Instead he got me. I had gotten along with my mother. She protected me form him. But when she was killed there was no one to protect me anymore." Severus explained. Harry could see strong emotions in his eyes. Fear, love for his mother, sadness and anger.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me." Harry said, sad that he had judged his man in front of him before getting to know about him.

"It's okay, when one's in pain they tend to shield themselves from the outside world and forget that what happened to them can happen to others. It's human nature, when we're in pain or suffering, Human's tend to collapse into them selves, not wanting the rest of the world to know that they are secretly suffering. That's why I hope that you can trust me and come to me whenever you need to. I don't want you to go inward with your emotions. I know what happens when one does that."

"Thank you." Harry said softly, looking sown in slight shame. 'I'm so stupid. Thinking only of my self when there are many others in front of me that are hurting because of life and this war.'

**SSSSSSSS**

Severus sat in the chair beside Harry's bedside.

'I really hope my words made it through that thick skull of his.' Severus thought. 'Cause I really don't want him to go through what I had gone through.' Severus's thoughts were interrupted when Poppy entered the room.

"Morning Severus. Morning Harry. How are you feeling today?" Poppy asked moving towards the occupied bed.

"A little better." Harry admitted.

**HPHPHPHP**

It was the truth. Sure he was still in slight pain, but at least the pain wasn't as bad as it had been. Plus, even with the nightmares, he had got some much-needed rest that he was unable to attain while at his relatives house.

"Good." Poppy said smiling. "You'll probably still have slight pains, mostly from your wrist, but it shouldn't be long before you'll be up and about on you're own, with out exerting yourself, of course." She turned to Severus. "In a couple days he'll be well enough to leave the infirmary and into your care." Poppy informed him then called a house elf and ordered some breakfast for the three of them.

**SSSSSSSS**

After eating Severus bid Harry and Poppy a good day and headed back to his dungeons to stock up on the infirmary's potions, mostly to be used by Harry. Poppy gave Harry a couple potions, checked on his stats then returned to her daily rituals of making sure the infirmary was clean and straightened and made note of any potions that they were low on. Harry laid back, propped on a stack of pillows and started to read a book left by Severus.

**HPHPHPHP**

The rest of the week had gone by fairly quickly. Harry was practically restricted to the infirmary; even though Poppy had wanted for him to stay in bed, he did need to move about plus work his leg muscles.

Severus stopped by at least once a day to check on Harry. They spent most of the time either trading stories or playing games such as Exploding Snap and Chess, which Harry was still terrible at but was learning how to play better by Severus.

Albus however mostly stayed away from the infirmary and kept to himself. He had still felt terrible for what happened to the person he thought of as a grandson. He spelt his nights thinking of how much he had ruined the lives of the two most important people to him and how he was going to make it up to them.

**HPHPHPHP** A week later **SSSSSSSSS**

After Severus finished packing everything that he would need and want for the summer from his chambers and potions lab he headed up to the infirmary to collect Harry and then proceed to his summer home. When he entered the infirmary he found Harry Sitting on the hospital bed he had been staying in, clothed and tying his shoes.

"Time to go Severus?" Harry asked looking up at his teacher and newfound friend, smiling.

"Indeed. All ready?" Severus replied.

**HPHPHPHP**

"Indeed." Harry teased.

"Brat." Severus said raising an eyebrow. Even though the two of them had gotten closer to each other over the past week, neither of them brought up what Harry had been through.

He just wanted to forget what had happened. He wanted to push all the thoughts and memories to the back of his mind along with the constant nightmares he had been having.

He just wanted to be happy and carefree, where he could be himself and not have to worry that either he will kill the Dark Lord or die by his enemy's hands.

'Even if this peace only lasts for the summer.' He thought looking over at Severus. 'Since this could be the last and only chance I have at being happy.'

* * *

Sorry if the chapter was short. I'll try to get the next chapter out as soon as I can. But I would like to know my readers opinion. 

How should Harry act??

Should he be sad, depressed??

Should he be okay, somewhat sad, but go to Sev and totally talk about the whole thing?

Should he be sad, depressed, but go to Sev and totally talk about the whole thing?

Should he be sad, depressed, not talk to Sev, and go through a :

Slight suicide faze?

Big suicide/cutting faze?

Please review and let me know what you all think. I'm stuck on how Harry should take all of this.

I'll be posting little notes of what's going on and what not every once in a while on my bio on my profile in case you want to check that out every once and a while to see where I'm at story wise.

Hope you enjoyed the Learning to Love Chapter 5: Hiding. Please review; tell me what you thought of the chapter, the story and your opinion of what should happen.

Thanks,

Moonluna


	6. Heart to Heart

**Learning to Love**

**Chapter 6: Heart to Heart**

Sorry I didn't get this out by or before April 10th like I had hoped I would. Things have been difficult lately. My grandfather died in January and now my great grandmother is in the hospital sick- with something similar to what my grandfather went through before he died. Sadly, we don't think she'll last much longer. But I'm trying to use my emotions to help pull me along with this story. Thank you to all those who reviewed.

Angelskissofdeath

Silverharpie17

Shadow315: I know suicide isn't a faze, it was just the simplest way I could think of putting it.

Gryffin's love

YinYangWhiteTiger

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Chopsticks-The-Mighty

Lady Lily3

moon crescent neko

Lady-Serena-Snape: Thanks for the offer. I might take you up on that but for now I'm going on my own experience with depression, cutting, and suicide attempt.

Hope of My Domain

Telekinetic

yaoi-fied: read a couple of your stories and love them

Black Adder

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mywayornoway

jjbreitwieser

miku

Yuki Matsuda

rayne114

Pink Shimmer

DebsTheSnapeFan

Hambares

as well as those who reviewed past chapters and who read and like this story.

123 reviews, 9677 hits, 58 favs, and 99 alerts

I'm so happy

* * *

"Well, even though I wish I could make you stay here in the infirmary to make sure you don't over do it and aggravate your injuries, Mr. Potter," Poppy started entering the room from her office/chambers. "I have to leave. I'm spending time with my daughter, son-in-law and my grandchildren for the summer. Though I'm positive Severus will keep you in line." She commented looking over at the grumpy Professor who in return inclined his head to confirm the Med -witch's 'demands'. 

"I don't want you to over think your limits. That right wrist of yours will be difficult to use. I gave Severus a brace to have you wear to help the nerve damage heal and your wrist rest. You will have to do psychical therapy to get your regular functioning back. Your left shoulder, was shattered which will also need psychical therapy. Your ribs will be tender for a while, which might cause slight stabbing pains when you breathe but the potions you'll take will help with the pain.

"There are some scars, which unfortunately we can't get rid of them all; but Severus will give you some potions over the summer to help them fade so they are not as noticeable. Then there's the malnourishment. I want you to eat three meals a day with snacks in-between meals. I want you eating vegetables, fruits, meats, dairies plus you'll be given nourishment potions to help you build fat, muscles and help add some height." She rattled off.

"I'll make sure the boy's taken care of. Trust me. Potter wont get into trouble while he's with me; unlike when he's here at school." Severus paused giving the young man a mocking glare. "I'll make sure he rests, takes his potions, yada yada. Poppy, I'm a Potions Master and you know I have a Master in Healing. Plus you're only a floo call away if you're needed."

"I know Severus. But you know I can't help but worry." Poppy claimed.

"Don't worry Madam Pomfrey. I'll listen to Snape, take all my potions and try not to over do it. I promise." Harry reinsured to the older woman.

"I better not see you in the infirmary again for a while Harry." The witch glanced down at her watch. "Oh dear, I should get going. Take care boys. If you need me, call me. Bye and you two better behave. If I found out you haven't you'll be getting a long lecture from me." Poppy rushed towards her room to get her things and floo to her daughter's.

_**HPSS**_

'Looks like it just me and Snape.' Harry thought. 'I suppose I should start calling him Severus because of the truce.'

"Now what?" Harry questioned, turning to the older wizard.

"I suppose we should go inform the Headmaster that we're be leaving for the Summer. Snape said letting out a sigh.

'Severus.' Harry corrected mentally. 'This will be harder to remember than I thought it'd be.' He thought letting out an internal sigh.

_**HPSS**_

'Of course I'll look after the boy.' Severus thought after the Med-Witch rambled on and on. 'If you haven't noticed Poppy, I'm a fully grown and responsible adult now- have been for a while. Not the trouble making child anymore.' He was extremely happy- internally obviously (he wasn't in the mood to have his ear pulled for being disrespectful like when he was in school) - that Poppy had finally stopped talking and left Severus alone with the younger man.

'I guess it would be wise to go and find the old man to let him know that we'll be on our way for the Summer. Though I have no doubt that we'll see the crazy old man throughout the rest of the Summer frequently.

Severus made his way to the Infirmary doors. Harry following behind him as they made their way to the Headmaster's office. The Potions Professor glanced behind him, realizing that Potter was having a difficult time catching up to his longer strides, especially with the teen still recovering from his injuries.

'I suppose I should slow down so he doesn't strain himself, causing a setback which Poppy would have my head for.' He thought, falling back and letting Potter set the pace. 'Harry,' Sev corrected. 'I have to remember to call him Harry, not Potter. After all I was the one who instated the truce.'

_**HPSS**_

Harry looked over at his Professor grateful that he didn't have to worry about trying to keep up with his momentum anymore. His body was still weak and weary besides trying to keep up would put more strain on his body. When they finally reached their destination they said the password- why Albus Dumbledore had a fascination with muggle sweets and using them as passwords was beyond him, and climbed the steps leading to Albus's office, pausing at the door to knock and be invited in.

"Come in." Albus's voice rang out. His normal 'I'm happy cause I'm up to no good- but you can't prove I'm scheming something' tone was more mellow and saddened. Severus and Harry entered that office filled with many mysterious and magical items. The most rare being his familiar Fawkes, a phoenix. "Ah. My boys, come take a seat." The hundred-some old wizard said, nodding to the chairs in front of his grand oak desk.

_**HPSS**_

'His eyes are sadder now. The last time I've seen him this miserable was when James and Lily Potter were killed.' Severus thought, looking in his mentor's pain filled eyes. It was hard on him knowing that the man he looked up to and views as a father could be so...broken.

"What do I owe the pleasure of this visit my boys?" Albus questioned, a small smile on his face.

"We have come to inform you that we will be taking our departure to Snape Manor this afternoon." Severus informed.

"Well, I'm sure you two will get along and be on your best behavior. I trust you two will be able to put aside your childish antics towards each other for the remainder of the Summer and learn to relax in one another's presence. I hope you both will put aside your differences and realize your similarities. Perhaps, even become friends?" It was more a statement than a question.

"We've put aside our differences and have agreed on a truce. Don't worry Albus, I'll make sure the boy gets back to tip-top shape and stays out of trouble. Poppy already gave us a lecture before she left. I'm sure Harry and myself can survive and tolerate each other's existence this summer. He might even be able to keep away from trouble once school starts- we can only hope anyway." Severus lightly teased, glancing at the younger man who's face held a 'who me? I'm innocent.' look. Albus let out a chuckle at his two boys. Happy that they both were starting to heal . Though he knew that the healing process would be a long and difficult journey, but those two would help each other through it all.

"I hope you two wont me popping in every once and a while to see how you are doing." Albus wondered, wanting to keep in touch with the two young men who were like sons to him.

"Obviously not Albus." Severus replied, glancing over at Harry who nodded his head. "The Summer just would not be the same if you weren't to stop by to chick up on me and insist me to spend time in the sun to gain some color." He mocked. Harry let out a chuckle. Albus smiled in return.

"You know I only have your well being in mind, my son. Some sun would do you good though Severus. It's no wonder the students believe your a vampire." Albus teased his 'oldest son'. Harry let out a snort of laughter at his Headmaster's comment, while Sev scowled.

"Indeed." was the stoic man's only reply.

"Well I suppose I shall let you two get ready to leave. I'll stop by in a couple weeks to see how you're doing. Severus nodded and stood up. Harry stated to stand up but was topped by Albus. "Harry. Would you mind staying behind for a little while? I feel that we need to have a conversation." Albus glance at Severus who nodded his head in approval. Harry's emerald eyes widened; becoming scared at what he knew his Headmaster wanted to talk about. He glanced over at Severus.

"Is that okay Harry? You don' have to it you don't want to." He questioned the young wizard, concerned.

"It's okay." Harry said. Might as well get it out of the way since it will happen eventually.

"Did you want me to stay with you?" Harry shook his head. "Okay. I'll be waiting in y office for you." Severus informed him. A feeling of pride for his new found, dare he say, friend. Harry watched nervously as the darker wizard left the office, leaving him alone with the man who the thought of as a grandfather figure, even thought he had-in all truth- failed to protect the Wizarding World's Savoir.

_**HPSS**_

"Harry, my son. I wanted to express my deepest apologies. I would understand if you could never forgive me for what I put you through." He paused trying to control his emotions and tears.

"I..." Harry started, but was but off by Dumbledore.

"No. Let me get this all out before you say anything Harry. Please." Harry shut his mouth and nodded for him to continue. "Your mother and father were so much like family to me. Your mother was the best witch in her year, despite being muggleborn- much like your friend Miss. Granger. When she first arrived she had felt somewhat lost, unsure of her self as a Witch and this new world she was thrown into.

"Minerva had brought up her concern for Lily so I had her met with me and help her out. It had become a weekly ritual. Every Sunday, she would come visit with me. We would converse about many different things. Concerns she had, classes and grades, friends. I'd teach her about some of the politics in the Wizarding World and some of the customs.

"She had become like a daughter to me and me a father towards herself. Don't get me wrong Harry. Your grandparents, her mother and father, were extremely proud of her and were a happy caring family; but with them being muggles and your mother's thirst for knowledge of the Wizarding World and everything around her she had come to me. Petunia didn't make things easy for Lily or the family. She had been extremely jealous of how her sister was special and had their parents praises. Lily had told me how her and Severus had become friends and would help another with their school work." Harry's eyes widened in shock.

"Shocking I know. It was your mother who tried to get you father to stop the teasing the pranks on Severus. James had not been happy that Lily was friends with him but she had fiery personality and a temper to match. Plus, James loved Lily so much, he'd do anything for her, including leaving Severus alone. It was actually Severus who insisted that Lily gave James a chance. He just wanted her happiness, even if it was with his enemy.

"Though the two young men would never be friends because of the harm-physically, mentally and emotionally- they had afflicted on each other. But they tolerated each other, for Lily's sake. I won't go into much details concerning Severus, Lily and your father. That's Severus's story to tell if and when he wishes to.

"I had been close friends with the Potters. I had know your father when he was little. Though I never had approved of his actions, he was still like family. When the Potter's were killed, James had been devastated. Which was probably another reason he backed off from Severus and learned to mature. I took in and comforted both Lily and James when their parents were killed. It was your birth that had made them happy again. When I heard the prophecy it had upset both your parents and myself, but we know we had to keep you safe from Voldemort.

"When I heard new that Voldemort found out where you were and attacked, it felt like my heart stopped beating. It had been Severus who found out of Voldemort's plans but by the time Hagrid and himself had gotten there it had been too late. It was a miracle you were alive. I had decided to have you stay with Petunia because your mother used her love and blood to protect you. You would be safest from Voldemort, should he arise again, and his followers who sought revenge because of the blood protection wards.

"Minerva had warned me that the Dursley's weren't the best people, but I was hoping and thought that Petunia would put aside her jealousy by then. If I had known, or even listened to Minerva, then none of that would have ever happened to you. I thought that she would raise you as one of her own and would love you.

"I'm so sorry my boy. It is my fault. I should have placed you with someone else. I had wanted to look after you myself but I had been so busy running Hogwarts and wanted you to have a normal childhood. Plus I thought it would be best if you were to be taken care of by blood family. I'm so sorry. I hope that one day you can forgive me." Albus broke down by the end of his sentence. Tears that pooled in his normal bright blue eyes, which were now a dull color full of sadness and grief, started pouring down his pale cheeks.

The man was starting to look his age, of well over a hundred. Harry's emerald eyes glowed with unleashed tears at the Headmaster's words.

_**HPSS**_

"I do forgive you," Harry started. "But I never will forget." He closed his eyes, causing the tears to streak down his face. "In a way I understand why you left me with them. You felt it was the best thing to do for me. If I was given to someone in the Wizarding World they would have treated me like a King, and my ego would have been as large as Snape had always claimed it was.

"I know you only wanted the best for me. Unfortunately my mother's sister and her family weren't kind, understanding and mature people. I think the one thing the Dursley's did for me is help me mature faster and how to rely on myself. I've learned to be some what cautious of my surroundings. I have never been like the rest of my class mates, and never will be.

"My childhood wasn't like everyone else's. I never truly had a childhood. I had to do things and take car of myself at a young age. And I know you're not to blame. Sure you had your hand in it unintentionally, but Voldemort and the fates are to mostly blame." Harry said getting some of his thoughts and feelings off his chest, thought there were sill many deeply buried with in him.

"Thank you my boy." Albus said, getting up out of his chair and walked over to the young man. He pulled a slightly teary Harry out of the chair and grabbed him in a big hug. Harry hugged the man he thought of as a grandfather back. "You best get going. Don't want to make Severus mad from waiting too long." Harry nodded, pulling out of the hug. He gave a small smile and started for the door.

"Thank you for the talk Harry. Maybe someday we can have weekly conversations like your mother and I had."

"Most definitely." Harry replied, then walked out of the Headmaster's office and headed to the dungeons to meet up with the dungeons bat to leave for the summer.

* * *

I've got to say this is my longest chapter yet. When I had wrote the scene with Harry commenting on his life with Dumbledore I didn't really realize I was writing it- it just flowed out. 

After going through it I realized that in a way I made Harry make it seem, to others, that he wont bottle his abusive past bottled up and know he wasn't to blame for anything. But he had left a lot out with his talk with Albus. He had felt bad that the older Wizard felt it was his fault when Harry –in his mind- claims it is himself to blame. Harry will still have problems with his past "catching up on him" emotionally and psychically, after all the weight of the world is on his shoulders.

I wanted to write to where Harry and Sev left Hogwarts and arrived and Snape Manor but it felt like a good place to stop. I'll get to the Dursley's fate soon, thinking what I want to do to them. I'll be working on the next chapter. Please review.

Moonluna

PS: I have a story out called Hidden Secrets. If you're interested. It's about a mysterious woman comes to Hogwarts with the last name Potter to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts. Who is she and how is she related to Hogwarts' Golden Boy? And why is Severus's eyes and mind wandering to her? Severus Snape/ OC (Celeste Potter)

ALSO: I've been posting on my bio info about chapters. Such as what I'm currently working on and hope to update soon. As well as what's going on with my life-which may cause delay in chapters- and as well as stories.

(5-2-07)


	7. Snape Manor

**Learning To Love**

**Chapter seven: Snape Manor**

Warning: Darker themes.

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Harry quietly left the Headmasters office deep in thought. He had gotten a lot off his chest when he was talking to Dumbledore but he still had the weight of the world on his shoulders. Not to mention the grief, the guilt and the pain that weighed him down and left his lungs burning for air. 

'No.' Harry thought. 'I doubt this uneasy feeling of falling into the dark abyss will ever go away.' He let out a sigh, trudging down to the dungeons with his head down and shoulders slumped. His mind was racing but you'd never be able to tell by first glance at him. Harry's vibrant eyes were deep, drowning pools of green that seemed soulless. He felt...hopeless. Lost. Like he had tumbled down a steep hill and for the life of him couldn't get up as his world turned a deathly black.

Over the years he had tried to just bury the hurt and pain, not wanting to deal with it. It all was slowly pouring into his mind, heart and soul. Like a Dam breaking and the rushing waters beating down and past the broken barrier.

Harry shook himself out of his little slump when he came to Professor Snape's office; hoping the man wouldn't find out what Harry's going through. He let out a mental sigh and knocked on the door in front of him.

"Enter." Snape called out. Harry cautiously opened the door and stepped inside the room. "Everything go okay?" he asked Harry, slightly worried for the younger man- though he would never let anyone know that.

"Yeah. I'm fine." Harry replied with a small smile, hoping Severus wouldn't notice it was fake.

"How'd your talk with Dumbledore go?"

"Good. Got something's off our chests that needed to be said."

"Well I'm done packing. Are you ready to leave?" Severus questioned.

"As I'll ever be. How will we be getting there?" Harry inquired.

"Portkey. Albus set one up for us to use." A small shiver passed through Harry's thin frame. He couldn't stand Portkeys. They brought back too many painful memories. If Severus noticed the young man's discomfort he didn't comment. Pulling out a old quill, which Harry assumed was the Portkey, out of his pocket he handing it out for Harry to hold on to.

Harry hesitantly brought out his hand to grab a hold of the feathery side of the quill-Portkey. The moment his hand touched the magical turned device the air became thick and the sights started to meld together becoming a blur of colors. As quickly as it started, it ended.

Harry felt his body being pulled towards the earth and with his eyes screwed shut, his knees gave out from under him-bashing against the hard floor- supported solely on his trembling arms keeping his head and face from meeting the same fate as his knees. Breathing had became difficult in his slightly confused and panicked state, causing spots to dance around his vision when his eyes snapped open.

"Calm down Harry. Take deep breaths. You're safe." Snape's velvety voice breaking through the fog.

/\/\/\/\

'I know that he's hiding more then he's letting on.' Severus thought as he tried to comfort the young wizard-trying to get him out of his panicked haze. 'Fake words. Fake smiles. I'll have to keep a sharp eye on him. I'll leave him to himself for a little while to observe him but then he's going to have to let it all out and come clean with what's weighing him down.

"Come on Harry. We'll stop by the kitchen first and get something to eat and some tea. Then I'll give you a tour." Severus stated, carefully lifting the man to his feet and keeping him steady by his side as they headed to the kitchen.

/\/\/\/\

Harry didn't get a good chance to look around at his surroundings as the Potions Master led him to the kitchen, because of his stomach threatening to crawl up his larynx. But he figured once his stomach settled he would be able to actually take in the Dungeon's Bats' summer home. The teen allowed himself to be gently shoved in to a cushioned kitchen table chair and dragged closer to the table in front of him, like a child.

Dazed, Harry watched as the lanky form of his Professor gracefully collapse- for a Snape did not flop or slouch like an undignified slob- in the chair across him and with a snap of his elegant, potion stained fingers called for a House Elf and politely asked for some tea and a light lunch. With a crack the well dressed House Elf disappeared and reappeared as quickly as he left with tea, a plate of turkey sandwiches and a potatoes soup for the two men.

Severus pushed a bowl of soup, a sandwich and a cup of Camille tea in front of Harry once the House Elf disappeared once again. Harry looked up at the man, almost in a disbelief question if it was really for him and it was okay to eat.

/\/\/\/\

Severus mentally cursed after seeing the look on Harry's face when he gave him his lunch.. Happy and shocked that he was being given his own food to eat.

'Damn Fucking Dursely's!' Severus mentally screamed. 'I'll have to talk to Dumbledore about a proper punishment for those awful, moronic muggles. Must remember to bring the Wolf into their demise.'

"It's okay Harry. You'll always be able to eat here. In fact you'll be having three meals a day with snacks and tea between meals." Severus assured the young man, who looked down sheepishly and started on his meal. Severus picked up his tea cup and cradled it in his elegant fingers. After taking a sip he cleared his throat to gain Harry's attention-who had his food close to him within reaching distance, afraid that it would be taken away from him. Harry looked up, his emerald eyes meeting Snape's onyx.

"There will be some rules I expect you to follow during your duration here. As I have said you will have three meals a day with snacks and tea in between meals. Light out at 10:00pm and you are to be up by 8:00am, unless instructed by myself otherwise. I expect you to work on your school work every day, the sooner it's don't the more time you have for other activities and I will be checking it over.

"I want you to keep your room tidy and to help out if I ask you to. I will allow you to go flying, it you behave and obey the rules. You also will be receiving training, including Occlumency and depending on how that does possibly Legilimency as well. You are not to leave these grounds unless accompanied by myself. I trust these rules are fair?" Severus listed. Harry nodded his black head of messy hair. "Is there any questions you would like to ask?"

"How will I be able to use my wand? Students under 17 are restricted from using their wands out of school." Harry wondered out loud.

"There are wards around the house that Albus and myself set up that allow underage students, yourself, to use your wand without being detected by the Ministry. Anything else?"

"What will I be trained in?"

"As I mentioned Occlumency and possibly Legilimency. Expand you're knowledge of Defense Against the Dark Arts. Blocks, shields, curses, most spells, non-verbal spells, possibly some wandless, healing, Potions, some Transfiguration, Apparation- even through you'll be taught your sixth year at Hogwarts, counter curses, charms, hexes, and Dueling- Muggle and Magical." Severus informed, taking a sip of tea.

"Wow that's a lot. Is it just you that will be training me?"

"No you're pet Wolf will be stopping by and helping. He'll possibly be teaching you to become an Animagus." Severus replied rolling his eyes and sneering at the mention of the Werewolf.

"Lupin's going to help me?" Harry asked semi-excited.

"Yes unfortunate for me. Now finish your lunch then we'll take a tour." Harry nodded and continued eating. When they finished eating Severus stood up and banished the dishes to the sink. Harry, taking his Professor's example, stood up as well and waiting for his lead.

"Come now." Severus started heading out of the kitchen. "Don't want you to get lost." Harry's short legs rushed to catch up with him. "As you know that was the kitchen. If you ever need anything to eat or drink you can either get it yourself or call for my House-Elf Twiggy to get it. Though I don't want you ruining your meals and don't want you to eat tons of junk. The Formal Dinning room is through that doorway, which is rarely used anymore." Snape pointed to a door to the right outside the kitchen. They walked past the door and along the hallway.

"To the left is the Ballroom with the only fireplace that is connected to the Floo Network- password protected. The Living room to the right of the entrance." Snape guided him past a set of stairs that lead upwards and into another hallway.

"Down there is a hallway with a door leading outside. The large room is an indoor Green House for Potion ingredients. Then there is the Library. The largest room in the house; two stories high with another entrance on the second floor. There's an office/study connected through the Library. The set of stairs lead down to the basement where my Potions Lab is. You are not to go in unless I ask you to." Severus said entering a long room and the end of the hallway

"It's an extra room that's used for many things and is similar to the Room of Requirement back at Hogwarts. This is where you'll be training mostly." He turned out the door and led him back to the staircase to the left of the entrance. Harry hurried to catch up with his Professor's strides.

"There's a bathroom right next to the stairs," Severus said when they reached the top. He led him down another hallway. "There's the second story Library, which you're more than welcome to go in. There's plenty of books that will help with your school work. Across is a balcony and a bedroom to the left. To the right of the hallway is the West Wing. Not much over there and I ask for you to stay out." He doubled back and went to the left of the stairs.

"There's my room, again I ask for you to stay out, and across is two bedrooms." He walked down the short hallway to the rooms and opened the door to the right.

"This will be your room." He said entering, Harry behind him. "There's a closet and a bathroom with a shower. Any questions?" He took out and enlarged Harry's trunk.

"No Thank you for taking me in." Harry said, head bowed is slight shame at the hospitality.

"You're welcome. I'll let you get situated. I'll be in the Library. You're welcome to join me, otherwise I'll come and get you when it's time for dinner." With that Severus swooped out of the room, leaving Harry alone.

/\/\/\/\

Harry looked around the room. A queen size canopy bed made out of a dark wood. There was three windows, two over looking the back of the house the other facing the right side of the manor, where light was pouring through along with a slight breeze that made the long, elegant green curtains flutter.

Opening his trunk, Harry started taking out the things he would need or use during his stay at Snape Manor. He put what little clothing he had "inherited" from the Dursley's in the dresser and hung up in the closet. His things barely took up any of the space in either the dresser or closet. Moving on he took out his school books and school work he placed them on the desk near the bed.

Then he placed his prized possessions- his wand, Invisibility Cloak, and his photo album- on the night stand next to the bed. He glanced around the room after placing his toiletries in the bathroom. You couldn't even tell he was staying in the room with what little space his things took up. Then again, all of his things fit in that one trunk he's had for five years.

'I wonder what my life would be like if my parents hadn't died that night.' Harry thought, taking off his ratty tennis shoes and laid down on the bed, his eyes staring up at the canopy. 'Would I have a brother or sister? Would dad be proud that I became a Seeker on the Gryffindor Quiditch team my first year?' 'What ifs' and 'what would'ves' over powered any other thoughts and slowly brought Harry into a depressing frenzy of 'If onlys'.

'How is it that any entire world relies on a sixteen year old to protect them from and eventually get rid of a Monster that terrorizes and threatens everyone's existence. All because I survived the Death Curse and temporary enabled him. How am I suppose to be a Hero when I didn't even know that magic existed five years ago. I barely know anything of this world.

'I can't stand that everyone close to me dies. My parents. They'd still be alive if it weren't for me. It was me Voldemort was after. Not them. Me. I'm the reason they are dead. Cedric. If I didn't insist he take the Trophy with me then he wouldn't have been portkeyed with me to the Graveyard and wouldn't have been killed by Voldemort and his Death Eaters. Sirius.' Harry's heart tightened at the thought of his Godfather.

'If only I had learned Occlumency. I should have tried harder to learn even if it did cause my scar to burn in pain. I should have worked through the pain. I should have listened to the Ron and Hermione when I got that vision of Sirius in danger. Why didn't I just calm down and actually think it through instead of going head first into it.

'If I had thought rationally I would have understood that there would be no way Voldemort could have had Sirius and would have not taken that stupid House-Elf's word. I would have remembered to check the two-way mirror I had gotten or I should have at least went to Dumbledore or someone in the order and checked with them. Because of my rash thinking and my foolish Gryffindor brave act of Heroism I sent fellow students, my friends, into grave danger that lead to them being injured and could have lead to their death.

'I had lost the one person I cared about most in the world. I recklessly went to go save him when it was him that ended up coming to my rescue to save me. Causing him to pay the ultimate price. He was my family. Like a father to me. Sure I know he isn't my father but he was the closest thing I've ever had. And it doesn't mean I don't love my father any less it's just that I never knew my father, but with Sirius I got the time to know him. Sure I didn't get much time with him, since he was still on the run from the Ministry, but he's the only thing I've ever got to experience of what a father and family really is.

'I know I still have Remus but I know he has to hate me for what I've done. I'm the reason Mom, Dad and Sirius are dead. It's all my fault.' Tears pooled in his eyes and began to make their way down.

It felt like he had gone numb and the darkness started to over power him. Sucking him into a whirlpool that was starting to suffocate him. Harry quickly sat up. His breathing has hard and labored. Dark spots began to invade his vision as he stood up from the bed. He fell to his knees when a tidal wave of coldness blanketed him.

He crawled his way over to his trunk; threw opened the lid and quickly took out the one thing that kept flashing in his mind. He then crawled back towards the bed, with the object in hand, and settled on the floor back leaning against the bed. He opened his hand and looked down at the cold, hard object that laid in his palm. Switching open the Penknife that he had gotten from Sirius in his fourth year he gazed at the reflective surface.

His mind went blank and all he began to think about is to make the emotional pain stop. With the dark emptiness over powering his mind and rational thinking he took the blade of silver and placed it above his arm. He brought the sharp edge down gently on the skin on his left forearm, hesitating for a slight moment before the roars of faults settled firmly in the front of his head.

The pain of knowing it all was his fault he brought the metal firmly to his arm and made a slow sideways motion, pressing deep into the skin. He watched slightly detached as the red liquid blood started to stream up and leisurely pour from the wound. Blank and emotionless Emerald pools followed the path of his scarlet life force drip down his arm.

The Darkness let up, leaving him emotionally, mentally and physically drained. Harry put the Penknife in the bedside table drawer and pulled himself up and on the bed, uncaring of the small blood droplets smearing over his shirt as he held his arm tightly to his body. Using the last of his strength he pulled the blankets over his faintly shivering body and let the his world fade to a dark black as he fell into a deep slumber.

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Hope you liked the chapter. I'll try to get the next one out as soon as I can but just to inform everyone: it might be a while. Don't panic too much. It will be harder for me to get stories updated partially because we got rid of the internet so I have to "borrow" internet from my father which is difficult cause only one account can be on at once and my fat cow bitch of a stepmother is almost ALWAYS on, so I can't get on.

Plus things have gotten ten times worse. I'll just be lucky my mom wont have a bitch attack and kick me out soon.

Next month would be my Grandfather's birthday so it will be a little tuff. I'm hoping to take that day off and a couple after to go up and visit his grave. Then two days later it's my Grandma's birthday and I want to spend the day with her since I've realized how quickly something you love could be taken from you.

Thanks for reading. Please review.

Thanks,

Moonluna


	8. Thoughts

Learning to Love

Chapter 8 : Thoughts

Sorry it took forever to update. Too many things going on and inspiration for this story and to write in general has been low. Not too much happens in this chapter. Hope you like.

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Severus was slightly irritated that the boy was staying in his home for the summer, but he knew it had to be done. The boy...young man, Severus mentally corrected, had no other place to go and he had offered to look after the World's Savior. It was just now finally coming into his mind how having the young man in his house was not one of his greatest ideas.

How was he suppose to help the teen mentally, despite the similar history between the two, when he turned out the way he did. Cynical, dark, uncaring and unloving. He couldn't even phantom how he should go about helping the raven haired teen from his traumatic childhood. Growing up he refused help from Albus and dealt with the memories, pain and scars by himself, probably one of the reasons he turned out the way he did. He himself became so isolated because of his history he didn't even know how to open up to another human being on the same level. Severus stared blankly at the raging fire in the first floor Library's magnificent fireplace.

'Arg. I'm in over my head.' Severus thought frustrated. He took a sip from his crystal glass filled with auburn colored Fire Whiskey. He let the back of his head rest on the chair, trying to sort out his jumbled mind. 'What's the best way to help Harry?' He questioned himself. 'It's oblivious that he'll do something similar to what I had done. Ignore it and keep to myself. Deny that anything's wrong when someone brings it up and say that everything is perfectly fine. Then beat myself up in private by thinking it's all my fault and what happened to me I deserved.' He brought a slender hand up to massage his temple.

'I'm going to have to contact the Wolf when he comes back from his mission.' Severus thought. 'He needs to know what happened to the his cub plus the Wolf will undoubtfully come up with a solution for how to punish those muggles. I suppose I could use some advice on how to handle Potter as well.' The last thought he reluctantly added, for Severus Snape never asked for help.

He let his head drop back- hitting the back of the chair- as he closed his dark, tired eyes and let out a sigh. His mind trying to come up with a plan on how to help his current house guest. Harry's situation was a little bit different then his own. Severus, luckily, was never raped- by any one- nor had to rape anyone. Plus Severus had his mother's love and protection till her death during the summer before his sixth year of Hogwarts. Harry had no one and went through a lot more than he himself.

Thoughts bounced around in Severus's mind becoming jumbled and causing a migraine to start pulsing in the front of his head. Severs heaved his lanky form out of his chair, despite how comfortable he had become, and headed out of the library. He made his way towards the dungeons.

As he started down the stairs torches along the walls came to life, their flames guiding the way to the bottom. When arrived at the spacious potions lab he walked over towards his storage cabinet and opened the heavy doors protecting it's reserve. Dark eyes scanned the labels on the potion bottles, mentally making a list of all the potions he would need. First, he grabbed a Headache Reliever and downed it in one swig, a slight grimace appearing on his face; then grabbed several potions Harry would need.

Sharp black eyes glanced around the potions lab and stock once more to make sure he had everything, not wanting to make several trips incase-Merlin forbid- the spy forgot anything, then headed back towards the stone stairs and up to the first floor. Severus made his way to the kitchen, depositing the bundle of potions on one of the counters. He glanced up at the clock, startled that so much time had already passed by, then called for a House Elf.

"Rin." Severus called out.

"What can Rin do for you Master Sev?" A female House Elf questioned when she suddenly appeared with a small crack.

"I wanted you to know that we have a house guest for the summer." He told her. "His name is Harry Potter. He's been through a lot and I would like it if you...would help keep an eye on him please." Severus asked.

It was Rin that was assigned to Severus as a kid; and it was her that helped him out when things became difficult. She was the one who helped Severus clean and bandage wounds inflicted by either his father, from the Dark Lord and his merry gang or himself. She was also there for him when his mother died, one of the most difficult days of his life.

"Rin can help keep an eye on Mr. Potter. Rin knows what to look out for." She stated, knowing by the tone in her master's voice the possible signs Potter would show would be similar to what Severus went through.

"Thank you Rin. Could you have dinner made and set out. Something a little lighter. Potter's stomach can't handle heaver foods yet."

"Of coarse Master Sev. Rin would be happy too." Then went to work on making a light meal for her Master and his guest with a couple other House Elf's. Severus headed back up the stairs to the second floor and went straight for his bedroom. He quickly shed his stuffy teaching robes leaving him in a pair of dress pants and a white button up shirt which he proceeded to roll the long sleeves up to his elbows. After setting the discarded robe on the bed he made his way to his quests room. He paused at the door and knocked.

"Potter. It's time for dinner." The Potions Master called out. When he got no reply he knocked again. "Potter."

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Emerald eyes blinked open, tiny black dots dancing within his vision. His mind hazily trying to remember where he was and why he felt so woozy. He slowly sat up and leaned against the headboard as his mind came to recall what had taken place before he fell unconscious. He looked down at his arm which held angry red semi-healed scars. Harry looked continued to stare at his arm confused.

'There should still be cuts. Why and how have they healed?' Harry wondered. He glanced around the bed sheets and on the floor where he had sat and found his crimson life liquid still staining both. 'But how?' Magic. It must have been his own magic that saved him. Sure his self mutilation wouldn't have killed him, but there should be fresh cuts not some what healed scars. He looked down at his shirt which was once white now had a large dark red spot on it.

'My shirt must have soaked up the blood and helped clot it while my magic must have instinctually kicked in and healed the wounds so they couldn't be life threatening.' Harry was torn between being relieved that his magic saved him and disappointment that he was still alive and breathing. The darkness in his mind was scolding him. Telling him that if he had done it right not even his magic could save him and he could finally be at peace with his parents and Sirius. The shadows in his soul yelling how he could do nothing right. He glanced over at the clock revealing that it was half to six pm.

'Crap. I better clean this mess up before Snape comes to fetch me for dinner.' He quickly got out of bed and looked down at the mess he caused. 'Bloody Hell. How am I suppose to clean this up?' He questioned himself. He could possibly pass off the blood on the bed sheets as him getting a bloody nose from the slight dryness of the room –seeing how the stains on the sheets were minimal, but the splashes of crimson saturated on the floor had to go as well as his shirt.

He walked over to the bathroom that connected to his room, which at the moment he was extremely thankful for, to try to find something that would help get rid of the sopping mess on the floor. He glanced around the bathroom to find anything that could help him keep his emotions and feelings being found out by the house's owner. Harry paused, mind going back to what Severus had told him earlier how the house's wards would allow him to use his wand. He smacked himself lightly on the forehead, how could he forget that. He walked back into the bedroom and grabbed his wand off the night table.

"Tergeo." He said waving his wand in the appropriate movement above the bed and floor, cleaning the blood stains off both. Setting his wand back on the night stand after performing the spell on his discolored clothing he then headed back to the bathroom for a much needed hot shower. He turned the water to the right temperature then pulled the lever to start the shower.

The young man stripped himself of his baggy clothing and stepped inside the hot shower. He began scrubbing the blood off his small malnourish body till his skin turned a bright red. After washing he realized he should hurry and get dressed before Snape came to get him for dinner.

He turned off the shower and dried himself off with one of the large soft towel sitting out for him. When he reentered the bedroom Harry grabbed some clean clothes and put them on, making sure to wear a loose dark colored long sleeve shirt to cover the newly made lines on his arms and not irritate the healing skin. He glanced over at the clock sitting on the night stand and let out a sigh in relieve.

'Five minutes till Snape comes to get me for dinner.' He thought. Emerald eyes swept along the room, making sure that everything look normal and nothing was out of place. He wandered over to one of the windows that over looked the backyard and sat down on the cozy window seat. Looking into the sky, seeing the sun slowly making its way to the horizon, he figured it'd be probably another hour or so till it started setting.

He glanced at the property, slightly surprised to find a garden- more than likely mainly for potions ingredients- and rose bushes and other flowers in full bloom scattered across the vast yard. So lost in the scenery and thought he didn't heard the knock on the bedroom door or Severus calling out his last name. When the second knock came and his last name called loudly he finally realized the older man was at his door. Standing up he made his way towards the door and opened it.

"Sorry I didn't hear you the first time I was watching out the window." Harry explained after a minute of silence.

"It's ok. It's time for dinner." Severus said then walked towards the stairs. Harry followed, closing the bedroom door.

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Again sorry it took so long for me to update. I'm not sure when I'll update again. So I'm going to apologize in advance for what I'm sure will be a long wait for the next chapter. I wanted to add more to this chapter but my muse that I momentarily had decided to leave and I wanted to give you guys something before my 21st birthday on Friday –Yay!-.

I would love for suggestions on what should happen. My inspiration well is dried up and it rarely rains ideas. Since we can't post up just Author notes I write down what's going on with my stories- and why their not being updated- on my profile. So keep an eye on that.

Thanks,

Moonluna (4-8-09)


	9. Quiet Before the Storm

**Learning To Love**

**Chapter 9: Quiet Before the Storm**

* * *

Harry followed his Potions Professor down the stairs to the Kitchen. All the while his mind going around in circles in the darkness that was slowly taking over his mind more and more as time went by. He couldn't let anyone know what had taken place only moments ago. He was supposed to be the Wizarding World's "Golden Boy". He is suppose to save everyone from a Evil Dark Lord that very few even believe Harry's word that he was once again alive and terrorizing the Wizarding World and moving into the Muggle World.

The young savior let out a mental sigh taking in the house as the pair made their way to dinner. As his green eyes took in his surroundings, Harry found that the house was very elaborate, almost certainly done by Snape's parents or ancestors, with elegant and rich rugs covering the cherry hard wood floors. He doubted that if he were to tell anyone that this is actually how the Dungeon Bat's house was, large and sophisticated, no one would believe him. All the students believed that their greasy Potions Professor lived in a "house" much like his Potions classroom- dark, damp, and dreary- like a Vampire many speculated Snape actually was.

Harry took a seat at the table indicated by Severus when they entered the Kitchen. The student watched as his Professor walked over to one of the counters, grab a couple items off said counter and rind them over to the table in front of him. Harry stared at the items that were placed in front of him; there was a couple potion bottles and a wrist brace.

"How are your injuries?" Severus asked sitting down in the chair next to him. "Truthfully, I need to know what's bothering you so we can treat it."

"Uh..." Harry thought, his brain going through a mental check list of his body and what was still bothering him, while trying not to think of how he got the injuries. "My ribs hurt a little along with my left shoulder. It's my right wrist that is bothering me the most." He answered truthfully.

"Thank you for answering truthfully. This potion will help with pain and discomfort and the second one will help with the slight nerve damage that was done to your shoulder and wrist." The older wizard said handing the two said potions to his guest to take. Harry grabbed a container and downed it then downed the second one, showing his distaste by scrunching his nose. "Give me your right wrist. If you wear the brace it will help your wrist." Harry hesitantly moved his right arm to Snape.

Severus tenderly took the thin wrist in his left hand, agile fingers feeling the tendons mentally going through his healer checklist to verify it was healing. He then took the brace and started to strap in on the injured wrist. "I know it feels a little uncomfortable but it's meant to keep you from moving your wrist around too much and will help it heal. For now I want you to wear at least most of the day. Once it starts to heal more you will only wear it at night." The Potions Master let go of Harry's wrist, now incased in a constricted cloth, and called the House Elves for their dinner.

As the House Elves set dishes of chicken, mash potatoes, and green beans on the table in front of them, Severus thanked the creatures of servitude. Plates with silverware and cups appeared before them along with a pitcher of water before the House Elves disappeared with a light 'crack'. Harry stared at the food covering the oak table.

"Go ahead and help yourself." Severus said, in hopes that the young man would feel comfortable and learn that food would never be kept from him or used in punishment, but rather he'll have no choice but eat three square meals a day and more. Potter hesitated as Snape stared to pile food on his plate and filled his glass. Black eyes glanced at the boy as he timidly gathered some of the food onto his own plate. After filling his own glass with water from the pitcher he grabbed his guests and filled his as well.

"Thank You." Harry whispered as Severus set his glass down in front of him. He silently waited to start eating till after his Professor started, the habit that he had learned from living with the Dursleys had not faded from his instincts. The "teachings" that the Dursleys had beaten into him were engraved into his every movement. Not being able to touch that little food he did get a times until his "Family" has started eating first was something that Harry even followed when he was away at Hogwarts, though none realized that he secretly waited till those around him in the Great Hall would eat before he could even think of touching any of the food.

Severus watched as Potter took very little food and put it on his plate. He knew that the boy would never take the amount that he should be eating for the reasons of his stomach not being able to handle the amount of food a normal teenager eats and also because of the "rules" he knew the boy's muggle family laid down for their nephew. The wizard watched and kept track of all the savior's behavior and habits to the situations that he was thrown into, taking mental notes on how he'll be able to help Harry overcome what has become natural over time.

Knowing the young man wouldn't start eating till he did, he dug into his dinner- all a while glancing at Harry out of the corner of his dark eyes making sure that he'd eat. Snape watched as the young man took small bites of food at a time, all awhile his head bowed down his jeweled eyes never leaving his plate and his left arm curled around the plate. Once the Professor finished his plate of food he looked over to his guest, who was sitting back in the chair looking apologetically down while his plate which was still filled with food.

"Are you done eating?" Severus asked.

"Yes." Harry replied, looking embarrassed. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault Harry. Just eat as much as you can without making yourself sick. By the end of the summer with the help of regular meals and nutritional potions you'll be asking for seconds." Harry gave the man a light smile. "Why don't you go get a couple of your summer assignments, maybe History of Magic to start with, and I'll meet you in the Library's first floor. I'll leave the door open for you and I'll set some books that should help you complete your History of Magic summer work on a desk for you." Harry nodded, waited till Severus stood up, then stood up from his seat and headed out of the Kitchen and made his way back to his room.

Severus got out his seat, knowing that Potter would not stand till after he would. He watched as his student leave and made his way upstairs. He called for a House Elf to take care of the leftover food and dishes.

"Thank you Les. Dinner was fantastic as always." Severus said to the small childlike creature.

"You's welcome Master Sev. Les and other Elves are happy to serve such a wonderful Master like you's." Les replied, large ears flopping in happiness and softball sized eyes widened with pride towards her magnificent Master. She grabbed the dirty dishes and disappeared with a 'crack' to take care of them.

Severus made his way out of the Kitchen and towards the first floor Library, his long legs making the distance in a short amount of time. He entered the Library, making sure to leave the door open behind him for Potter, and headed over to one of the hundreds of large book shelves packed with all different kinds of books. His onyx eyes scanning the books, looking for a couple of History of Magic books that would help his student learn the information needed to know to complete his summer work.

Long fingers pulled out several books he knew would help Potter then walked over to one of the desks that sat by a couple high backed chairs located by the fireplace and set the books down on the desk along with some parchment, a quill and ink bottle. Snape let out a sigh as he grabbed a book off the end table in between the two chairs then sat down in the one that had the desk in view.

After Harry left his Potions Professor in the kitchen, he made his way back up to his room. His mind trying to remember what History of Magic summer work he had, though as hard as he tired to remember he could not recall what assignment was given. Though given what happened toward the end of the school year and what had happened throughout the year with the Toad Umbridge and visions sent by Old Moldy Shorts, it wasn't surprising that he could not remember. Harry thankfully had Hermione who created a list of the summer work for all his classes. When he came to his room he quickly grabbed his History of Magic books and notes, along with the list of assignments, and started for the first floor Library- not wanting to keep Snape waiting.

When Harry found himself in front of the Library he hesitantly walked into the doorway and cautiously entered the room. Snape's head turned towards him as he entered.

"The desk over there is for you to use. I set out some parchment and an ink bottle for you with a quill. Also I selected some books that should be able to help you complete you work. I selected the ones that are a little easier to understand then the books needed for class and won't put you to sleep like in Professor Binns does. I suggest first figuring our what your assignment is then start reading the books, jotting down a few notes where the best information is before starting the writing portion. That way you can understand the information first and won't hurt your wrist." Severus informed the young man.

"Thank you Professor." Harry said as he walked over to the desk Severus set up for him and set his books and notes down. He sat himself down at the desk and started looking through his assignment list for History of Magic. After finding the list his emerald eyes scanned the paper reading the task he was set to conquer for the summer. With his mind noting the assignment he went to work on reading through the books stacked in front of him. Eyes scanning the text trying to take in the words while his brain put together the information he was learning in a way to complete his paper.

Severus's onyx eyes flickered from his book over to his guest every so often to check on the "chosen one's" progress. He was slightly surprised to find that the young wizard was focused intently on reading through the stack of books and was quickly making his way through the tomes. Before they knew it, it was time for bed.

"I think it's time for you to go to bed. You can continue with you homework tomorrow." Severus commented when Harry let out a jaw popping yawn.

"Okay Professor. Thank you again for gathering those books to help me with my work."

"No problem Harry. It's my job. You can leave your books and notes here for the night. Goodnight."

"Goodnight Professor." Harry said, standing up and making his way out of the Library then up to his room.

Severus watched as Harry left to go to his room, closing his eyes as soon as the young man left the room. He sat there for twenty minutes, his mind trying to come up with a schedule for Potter. He knew that psychical training would have to wait a while till the boy's body was healed, which left learning spells, book work and potions. Learning Occlumency and Legilimency would have to wait a while along with weapons and dueling, both Harry's mind and body needed to heal before Severus could even think about how to go about teaching those.

'I guess for now, at least till his body heals a little more, it'll mostly be book work.' Severus thought as he heaved his weary body out of the chair and started upstairs for bed.

'I can't believe I actually enjoyed reading and working on History of Magic work.' Harry thought as he made his way to his room. His mind going over the information that he learned, trying to figure out the best way to use the information to write his paper. Once he entered his room he made work of shedding out of his clothes and grabbing his night clothes on his way to the bath to take care of his nightly needs. After exiting the bathroom he crawled into bed and burrowed under the soft blankets. His eyes drooping and his mind surprisingly quiet. Soon drifting off to what he hoped would be a restful sleep.

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I know I'm bad. Sorry it took almost a year for me to update. Believe it or not I actually was ready to put this chapter up in the beginning of December, but I had typed it on my new laptop and I don't have the internet for it- cause I'm currently stuck with crappy dial-up internet- and wasn't able to transfer it to my computer with internet cause it's so old every time I tried to it would come up on the old one.

By the time I re-typed the chapter on my old computer I felt that I should add to the chapter. So I did, and it took a while because I'm stuck on what I should have happen. I know what direction I want this story to go in- kind of- but it the little things to put in between.

So again, Sorry for taking so long. I could really use some ideas for what I should have happen, might inspire me to write more. So if any of you have any ideas put them in a review. Thank you for being patient with me loyal readers and for all the reviews.

^_^ Moonluna (3-31-10)


	10. Nightmares and Comfort

**Learning To Love**

**Chapter 10: Nightmares and Comfort**

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Sorry everyone for not updating sooner. So much has been going on that prevented me from doing so. Last year a Tornado had hit our house, so for the whole summer had been spent with contractors crawling around. In November my grandfather had a heart attack; thankfully he was fine and is back to his normal self (ignoring Doctors orders to take it easy and rest).

I was hoping that I would've been able to get this out by December but work was hellish and had been working almost every morning, which was a little difficult after doing majority of nights. In February I had been in a car accident (I'm okay some stupid bitch ran a red light) and then spent most of the month of March sick with Walking Pneumonia.

I had gotten this finished by the end of March beginning of April but had trouble with internet access. I've finally got internet access, so here's the next chapter of Learning to Love.

**Warning:** A little dark in nature…

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Severus's eyes shot open. Confusion gracing his features, wondering what it was that woke him up from the dead of sleep. He dragged his body into a sitting position on the bed, quickly clearing the cobwebs of sleep from his mind as he focused on trying to find the sound that interrupted his sleep.

His senses went into full alert when a pained and terrified scream tore through the night's silence. The Potion Master practically threw himself off his bed in panic and ran out of the bedroom, making his way to the source of the screams- images sprouting from his sleep addled mind of an unlikely Death Eater attack on his house guest spurred him to very nearly fly down the hall.

When Severus came to the bedroom where Potter was staying he threw open the door so hard the inside knob imbedded itself into the wall. The sight that greeted the older wizard was not quite what he had been imagining but horrible non-the-less. The young Gryffindors' body was taunt, bent in an unnatural angle while his face- tears pouring from tightly shut eyes- was screwed up in pain and terror. Severus quickly made his way to the side of the bed, another scream tearing from Potter's throat.

Darkness was the only thing that Harry could see. He glanced around in confusion, trying to find something other than the pitch black that seemed like was slowly growing darker and colder by the second.

"It's all your fault." a male's voice rang out suddenly from the silence behind him. Harry turned around, letting out a surprised gasp when he saw who belonged to the mysterious voice.

"It would have been different if you would have just left without me. I could be out living my life if you would've kept to yourself." the male claimed, anger leaking from this statement.

"But..." Harry tried to get a word in, but was cut off by the male.

"You just had to be a heroic Gryffindor. Look at how far that has gotten you. My death is your fault."

"Cedric..." Harry choked out the man's name.

"Potter..." A snarl appeared on the dead Hufflepuff's ashen face.

"I didn't know it was a Portkey. I didn't…" Harry started, trying to think of what to say while tears started to leak from his emerald eyes.

"You might not have known but you have the habit of dragging others into your little heroic act causing those around you to be killed…" Cedric spat. "I'm not the only person who got too close to you and was killed because of it."

"If you had just done as you were told and learned Occlumency I wouldn't have gone after you trying to save your life only to lose my own. It's all because of your stupidity." A new voice chimed in. Harry head whipped over to the side where the familiar voice came from he thought for a second he might have snapped his own neck. Stepping out of the shadows was the one person the young wizard missed most.

"Sirius" His godfather's name came as a chocked sob.

"I was wrong. You are nothing like James. He would be disappointed that his only son, whom he died for, is a worthless freak that can't even stand up to a muggle." Harry flinched at the harsh words coming from the man whom he looked up to as a father figure.

"It's ironic that the whole Wizarding World is looking up to you. Waiting for you to save them from a crazed Dark Lord who is slowly taking over this world and killing anyone who gets in his way; and yet you can't even prevent that whale of a muggle from making you his fuck toy and whipping post." Cedric commented, a dark chuckle escaping past his blue lips.

"If you're all the Wizarding World has to stop Voldemort they might as well give up now. You getting rid of that maniac is a laugh." Sirius's lifeless blue/grey eyes bore into his soul. Weighing him down with guilt at both the young Wizard that was taken before his prime and older whom was just starting to get his first taste of freedom in fifteen years.

"Maybe if they just hand his insignificant hide over to Voldemort they can make a deal and everyone can live in peace." A voice chimed in.

"No one would miss the brat. He'd be out of everyone's hair and we would all get our justice by the ultimate pain and torture he would be put through before his slow and horrific death." An additional voice affirmed, this one being a female. Both voices sounded familiar to Harry but he was unable to place them, until the two figures stepped out of the darkest corner.

"Dad…Mom…" Harry whimpered as the two people he loved and hoped to love him most in the world stood next to his godfather. The four figures' ashen skin and lifeless- black circled eyes tugged at his heart; knowing that their ghastly appearance was cause by him getting them all killed.

"Our murderer doesn't deserve to even call us by our names, much less 'mom and dad'." Lily Potter scorned.

"The _boy_ doesn't even deserve to be using the Potter name." James Potter sneered. "No son of mine would be too weak to stand up to a muggle."

"As far as I'm concerned dear, we have no son" Lily cooed to her husband, winding an arm through one of James own.

"Too right my Lily-pad." James smiled down at his wife. "Come Sirius, Cedric. We'll leave this pathetic excuse of a Wizard to be taken care of by someone who will get the job done for us."

"Freak, did you think you could escape from me?" Vernon Dursley's voice rang through Harry's ears.

"No…please…" Harry sobbed harder as his uncle came to a stop in front of him.

"Bring your _kind _into my house and threatening my family." Vernon yelled, his face bright red. The young Wizard didn't see the large hand coming at him to slap him until the force caused him to fall to the ground. "You'll never be able to escape Potter. You're little friends and the Headmaster of your _freaky_ school will continue to send you back here. They don't care about you. You're just a tool to be used."

Dursley kneeled on the ground next to the sprawled boy while a twisted grin covered his face. He grabbed at the baggy pants that meagerly protected the boy from his unwanted attentions and ripped them and the flimsy cloth of a shirt off of the emaciated body. The muggle undid his own pants, pulling both them and his boxers to his thick thighs, freeing his prick from its confinement.

"No! No don't please." Harry begged when he realized what his uncle was planning to do.

"You beg so pretty _Freak_." He said, forcing his body in-between the thin legs. "Has that Professor of your _freak_ school gotten a chance to enjoy your begging yet?" Harry screamed as the plump cock rammed through his abused hole. "This is all you're good for Potter. You're nothing but a slut. Here only as a body to use up until no one has a use for your worthless carcass."

"Stop! No!" Harry yelled, weakly trying to push his uncle away from him, desperately trying to get the monster to stop his abuse.

"Do you really think you can stop me? You're nothing but a pitiable excuse of life." Vernon yelled grabbing Harry's arm and twisting it up sharply. The young man screamed as the bone in his arm snapped. A dark chuckle came from the eldest Dursley as he continued to thrust his hips, propelling his swollen penis into the tight cavity. Vernon let out a grunt while changing the angle of his thrusts; a smirk fell across his face when his victim let out a small scream when the mushroomed head of his prick prodded the small bundle of nerves.

"You like that don't you slut." The beast wheezed as he grasped Harry's twitching dick in his meaty hand. Harry let out another sharp sob as his uncle squeezed the organ.

"No…don't…please." He pleaded. Tears fell from his jade eyes and ran down his face, tumbling into his hair below. Another scream escaped past his lips as the head of Vernon's cock hit his prostate with each forward stroke causing blood rush to his own in unwanted excitement.

"I knew it. You do like this, don't you _Freak_." Vernon panted his face red from over exertion. His hand tightened around the boy's prick and started pumping it in timed to his thrusts. The man place his other hand on Harry's protruding hip, pulling and tilting the young male's body to position it in the right angle for him to receive the most pleasure.

"Ahh…That's it…" Vernon muttered when he slid into the tight hole deeper, his length brushing the "p- spot" with every thrust. Harry felt a tightening building up in his abdomen and his testes drawing to up to his body. More tears escaped his eyes as his body betrayed his and let go, causing the walls around the intruding object to seize and his erection to erupt, spilling his spunk over his uncle's clenched fist. Harsh sobs escaped him as he felt his innards' walls coated with sperm. Harry tilted his head to the side, humiliated and shamed at what had transpired. His eyes meet similar green eyes. The four figures had stood to the side, watching the happenings with smirks on their faces.

"…why?" He questioned, wondering why they just stood there and didn't even try to help him.

"Cause this is what you deserve." Cedric spat.

"Why would we want to help you? This is our justice." Sirius said smug at the performance.

"This is all you're good for boy." James declared.

"You should get it through your skull by now that no one wants you. The only thing your good for is for a quick fuck." Lily affirmed.

"Even your own parents agree with what I've always told you _boy_." Vernon laughed, while pulling his now limp cock from the leaking hole. "You're nothing but a _Freak_!" The world around Harry started fading out, only the harsh sounds of the five ringing through his head as he was suddenly jerked out of his nightmare.

"No….Stop…" Were the words Severus heard when he approached the young Wizard. The Death Eater turned Spy's heart clenched in his chest when he heard Harry's murmured in between sobs and screams. It was the broken whisper "…P…Please…" that had Severus moving again. The only thing flashing through his head was that he had to help the teenager, who was stuck in the darkest corners of his sleeping mind. He slowly lowered himself to sit on the edge of the bed, trying to think of a way to wake the inhabitant of said bed without causing more distress.

"Po…Harry." Severus called softly, slowly moving his hand –unsure if it would be best to touch the lad who was insecure with touch. "Harry. You need to wake up. It's just a nightmare. No one can hurt you here. Come on Harry."

Harry rolled on to his side, no longer screaming it appeared but the tears and sobs didn't look to be stopping anytime soon. "Wake up Harry. It's okay." The small body started to curl up on itself making the petite size appear tiny. "Come on Harry. You're safe."

Black eye lashes fluttered against the high porcelain cheek bones, slowly opening to reveal emerald eyes filled with tears. "It's okay Harry." Severus reassured, lightly placing his hand on Harry's arm. Harry, still feeling like he was trapped in the nightmare whimpered and recoiled in fear.

"It's okay Harry. It's just me. It's Severus." Severus soothed.

"Sev?" Harry asked hesitant, his voice raspy from screaming-his clouded mind unable to say the man's full name.

"Yes, Harry. I'm here. It's okay. It was just a nightmare." Harry, finally regaining use of his limbs, flung himself into the older man's arms and started sobbing. "It's okay Harry. You're okay. It was just a nightmare. You're safe here. I got you." Severus promised, wrapping his arms around the thin body and pulling it close to his own.

They sat there for twenty minutes or so, just sitting in silence. Harry soaking up the comfort his Potion Professor's arms was providing. Severus tried to ease Harry out of his arms as those emerald eyes started to close.

"No." Harry quickly threw his arms around Severus neck and shoulders. "Please don't leave." Harry pleaded, burying his head in Snape's chest. Severus let out a sigh.

"Okay. I'll stay. But let me move so we can lie down." Harry moved off the man and waited for him to settle down on the bed. Severus climbed into the bed, moving the blankets to the side so he could cover both their bodies once the Potter heir lay down. "Okay." Harry quickly re-established his position, his head resting on Severus's chest while the rest of his body curled against his side. Severus let out another sigh as his left arm hugged the body next to him and his right hand rested on Harry arm that was arranged on his upper abdomen. The sounds of each others' breathing and comfort of being in each other's arms caused both to slip into a welcome peaceful sleep.

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Thanks again my loyal readers for your patience. Hopefully I'll get Learning to Love Chapter 11 up a lot sooner than it took me to get this chapter up. Any ideas of what should happen go ahead and let me know; it actually helps to get a chapter going when I have some new ideas.

Thanks,

Moonluna (6-17-11)


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